tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33181264386673320482024-03-13T17:39:31.609-04:00That Mommy Life Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-43114941249403830402015-06-06T11:27:00.002-04:002015-06-06T11:28:55.960-04:00Toddler wearing with an Ergo Carrier and How It Has Saved My Parenting Almost 3 years ago, I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl in the world. She had big blue eyes and a little bit of dark hair (that later went red for a few months, then went blonde). She was perfect in every way, until I realized she screamed ALOT. And by a lot, I mean like 5 hours a day, for no reason, other than she wanted to move and her little body wasn't developed enough to do so yet. We took her to the doctor and asked about the incessant screaming that was making me want to grab a bottle of alcohol, cry myself, and totally run away. Her pediatrician said it was "Maybe Colic" although she displayed no real colic symptoms, he was just as lost as we were. Finally, at my wits end one day, I pulled out a carrier I had been given, and walked outside with Kasey and Turk. The crying immediately stopped. I walked until I couldn't walk anymore and the carrier grew uncomfortable. I did this routine for weeks, as it was the only thing that kept my little girl from screaming for hours on end. After Layla hit past the 9 lb mark, the cheap carrier I had been given grew to be extremely uncomfortable, so I quit using it and began to just carry Layla around in my arms, which caused my arms to get tired and the dogs to get upset because I could only handle one at that time. <br />
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A few weeks after this (and Layla was now about 3 months old), my Mother In Law and I stumbled upon a baby boutique and consignment store in Tallahassee during one of her visits. This store was about to change my entire parenting life! They had cloth diapers, baby carriers, and all kinds of odd contraptions I'd never imagine were used for children. Layla began to cry, so I was walking her around, in my normal zombie like mode to get her to stop crying when a sales associate approached me and asked if I would like to try an Ergobaby baby carrier. I explained to her that I had a carrier at home, but it had grown completely uncomfortable, so I appreciated her help, but it wouldn't... help. She smiled and asked me what brand of carrier I had (a cheap infantino from Walmart), and then walked me over to the Ergobaby display and showed me the difference between the carrier I now hated, and the carrier I was about to fall completely in love with. <br />
Ergobaby carriers are different due to the fact that they have a waist buckle and the shoulder straps so that it allows the baby's weight to be distributed evenly among your body, rather than putting all the weight on your front side as my infantino was doing, causing it to be extremely uncomfortable past 10lbs! She had my attention now! I listened and watched her demonstration with a hunger I'd never experienced before. She was telling me how it calmed babies who always wanted to be held, allowing me to be handsfree without being uncomfortable myself, and how this carrier would last until 35-45lbs (performance carriers go to 45), and she had even seen a woman jogging, with one baby on her back, one in a stroller and a dog running beside her! I had to have this carrier! That is until I saw the price tag. The original Ergo was $110, the performance $140. I left my job when I had Layla, so that I could be a Stay at home mom for awhile so we didn't have daycare fees, and my husband wanted me to continue to go to school without trying to work, excel in school, and be a mom too. (Yes, I have an amazing husband, I know!) So this price tag seemed a bit much for us at the time, I told C about the carrier and he was impressed but he agreed that it was a bit out of our reach at the moment, as we were still behind a bit from Layla's birth and us adjusting to only one income.<br />
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So now, lets talk about this pricetag of the Ergo Carrier for a moment. An Ergo carrier still runs just over $100, but heres where I can now justify (and hopefully save another mama some cash!) that cost to it. Say you go and buy one or two cheap carriers at $30 a piece, then buy a wrap like a moby wrap $40 which really don't last as long as a woven wrap, which means you'll need another wrap at $100.. by that time you buy those multiple carriers, you passed the value of an ergo already! and have multiple carriers you hate and cant use, which means you wasted your money! Yikes! No new parent wants to waste money. Ok so back to the ergo!<br />
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A few months later, I was able to go buy my Ergobaby Performance Carrier (I got the performance for its mesh quality, which as I live in florida,is totally essential!). Layla was crawling and pulling herself up on things by this time (6 months old) but she still loved to go outside for walks now (minus all the screaming..which resolved itself as soon as she began to crawl and roll around ) and loved to be held close to me. <br />
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As Layla began to get older, we noticed that she began displaying many red flags for autism when it came to language and communication, but she was always ahead in her developmental milestones so her doctor dismissed us at our concern that she never began to babble and was now over a year old (His reason? She was always ahead in her milestones and so it was ok for her to be a little late on talking and we would wait and see if this changed at her 18 month apt, but he also sent her for hearing tests due to her daddy's bad ear history, and also sent her for speech eval to be proactive. She also had her daddy's bad ears, which could have been the reason for some of these language and communication delays. Her hearing test at 16 months revealed she was only able to hear about 40% of things, due to fluid buildup in her ear. This fluid was not able to drain for some reason. She was in no pain and had never had an ear infection or illness at this point, so it was determined to be just due to a faulty lineup in her ear thanks to her daddy. Her ear doctor said it was standard to wait 6 weeks to see if the fluid went down on its own, and then we'd see what the next step was. Layla ended up having to get tubes in her ears to allow the fluids to drain on their own, and allow her to hear. She is now enrolled in speech therapy (for the past year) and occupational. The scariest thing about Layla is that with those ear issues and the fact that she does have autism, Layla doesn't respond to her name very well, especially if shes outside or in another stimulating environment. So, rather than respond to her name, she will often just run away laughing. Which can be absolutely terrifying, depending on where you are. She has no fear, no concept of danger. This isn't due to a lack of parenting on my end, it has to do with her autism. Layla once pulled from my hand, and ran (and she is VERY fast. Like really fast.. lets put it in perspective: Her dad can run cross country, and marathons, and ran track in highschool. Layla, at the tender age of 2, can keep up with her father when he runs! YES. SHE CAN. I have screws in my right ankle and am currently pregnant with a high risk pregnancy.. running isn't an option.. lol) for the doors of CVS. She ran right through them and I, running when im not supposed to!, threw everything I had in my hand ...wallet included, ran after her, she ran right through the doors, laughing as I am hysterically screaming her name, and into the parking lot (the edge.. but enough to terrify me) before I caught up to her. Layla also has a lot of sensory issues that can cause her to run from situations that are loud or that she perceives as overwhelming. Knowing these cues is what has helped me tremenduously, but This is also where babywearing (toddler wearing in this case!) really means a lot to me!<br />
Toddler-baby wearing means that my 2 year old has no chance of being able to wrestle free from my grip, and able to run (and not respond to her name). It means she is safe, at all times. I can bring her anywhere and know shes perfectly safe and secure, and I am able to accomplish what I need to in a short amount of time (without having to pack her BOB stroller, diaper bag, etc.. which while pregnant.. these things are a CHORE. its a chore to get out of the house, walk down steps, load a truck..etc. And if I do too much, I run the risk of contractions, being at risk for pre term labor. Thank you LEEP and cervical cancer!.. not). Layla loves to be worn, even at almost 3 years old. When situations become too loud or too overwhelming for her, she runs to me with her ergo. When we are out in public and face a situation like this, she buries herself into the carrier, and snuggles close to me. It gives her a sensory break and provides her with a comfort like no other. When you see that your child has sensory issues and becomes easily overwhelmed in crowded areas, and will cover her ears, but will instantly be fine in her carrier snuggled up next to you.. it is worth every penny to have a carrier like an Ergo. My performance carrier is holding up really well after nearly 3 years of solid use (and yes, I am able to wear her at 7 1/2 months pregnant with ease!! and my doctor says its fine for now). I was given an Ergobaby 360 for my birthday last year, and I love it too!<br />
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I like the performance carrier for Layla for the fact that it is a bit wider than the 360, so it gives a more comfortable seat and support for Layla's long legs. I am sad that she does seem to be outgrowing her carrier, but because the carrier is such a safe place for Layla, I decided to see if I can find her a carrier that is wider, will support her legs more as she grows, and has a higher weight limit, while still being comfortable for me (especially with baby #2 due in 10 weeks). I found that Lillebaby has a carrier called "CarryOn Air toddler carrier", and it has a weight limit to 60lbs! So I am excited to announce to everyone that once Layla outgrows her Ergo soon, she will still be able to be carried. I plan on purchasing it (or asking for it as a birthday gift lol.. #thatmommylife...when you ask for carriers for your birthday and cloth diapers! omg.. I love me some Grovia cloth diapers too). Baby and toddler wearing has gotten me through some really tough times parenting wise from those early days of screaming, to those fighting nap days, helped me help my daughter with her sensory issues, and offers me a chance to get all the snuggles I could ask for. I cannot thank companies like Ergobaby enough for a product like this. I really can't! Thank you Ergobaby, for your product. Now please, develop a toddler carrier ;)<br />
If anyone has any questions about baby wearing, toddler wearing, and autism, please feel free to reach out to us, I promise I don't bite.. unless you are my husband. ;)Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-91847793925488098582014-10-30T09:53:00.002-04:002014-10-30T10:18:58.081-04:00What people can quit saying to me about my daughter.I just want to say, I'm normally not a rude person. I will tell you like it is, but in general, I like to take the non-confrontational route. However, I'm finding that several well meaning people are just driving me insane. <br />
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Let me begin: My daughter Layla is a happy go lucky 2 year old girl. Curious, big blue eyes and bouncy, unruly, crazy blonde curls. She came into the world able to lift her head and look around. She hit all her developmental milestones early or on time, except when it came to talking. She was crawling by 4 months, standing by 5, cruising at 6, and walking at 9. She never babbled or made sounds, or responded to her name like my friends babies did, but her doctor said that due to her being on time or early with everything else; he was ok with waiting til her first birthday before getting concerned. At 13 months, her doctor sent her for hearing tests and ear check, and began the process to get her involved in speech therapy. Her results showed she had fluid buildup in her ears so badly that she was only hearing about 40-50% of what is being said. She had never had an ear infection or been sick a day in her life up til then, so we were sort of shocked. I say sort of, because we half expected her to have ear problems due to the fact that her father had tubes, constant infections, and eventually had to have his eardrum reconstructed due to his ears being so bad. I also have minor issues with fluid buildup in my ears during allergy season, and have to do a special routine to keep that at bay. <br />
She had her tubes placed in May. Her hearing supposedly is up to normal standards. But she continued to not talk, ignore us, and she just is full of lots of quirks. But that is what makes her so special.<br />
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Her speech therapist claims she is above average in mostly everything, on time in everything else, and communication is .5%. But we were going to start getting that on track. Along with that, came the "autism" word. C and I had suspected Autism for awhile, and kept pushing some one to help us figure it out so we could get Layla the early intervention that she would need. But due to the fact that Layla is pretty social, and has a history of hitting her milestones early, no doctor wanted to investigate her quirks further, but we kept pushing. We knew something was off. Something wasn't right. We looked into autismspeaks.org, and found a list of individuals who were able to do an autism diagnosis in our area. I mentioned this to her speech therapist, who said she was also able to do the diagnosis/evaluation. So we went with that, but are waiting on final results as well. Last update: Her speech therapist is recommending an autism diagnosis, problem is, Layla easily adapts to situations and mimics well so they have to keep changing their findings because of how well she does! <br />
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The problem we are running into as parents are coming from the people nearest to us. We had to accept that something was wrong with Layla months ago, and accepting that allowed us to persue finding out and getting her treatment. Family and friends near us do not want to accept that fact, often stating<br />
<b>"Are you sure she can hear you? I don't think she can hear you. She can't be autistic, she just has hearing issues, I think."<br />
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"She's so smart though. Nothing is wrong with her."<br />
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"I'll pray she will be healed from all autism diagnosis"<br />
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"She's too social to be autistic"<br />
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"She loves to cuddle and snuggle, she can't have autism. Autistic kids don't like to be touched."<br />
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"She will grow out of it."<br />
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"She will talk when she is ready. Give it time."<br />
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I am so SICK of hearing these things. We had to accept autism as part of our daughter, why can't you? I'm not out there wearing "Autism Rocks my World" shirts and bumper stickers saying "My child has autism", because in fact, I hate the fact I have to deal with autism. I love my daughter with all of her quirks, and we have her in all the early intervention programs (speech, occupational), but I'm not about to claim I love autism, and that it rocks my world, or proclaim it to the entire world that my daughter is autistic (possibly). Its none of their business. The reason I'm not out there proclaiming all those things or "being proud" of It is because of people and their stupid questions and judgements, and often even more insensitive statements. I'm proud of my daughter as a person. I love her as a person, for who she is and what makes her who she is.<br />
So, people can quit saying the 7 things above to me. Accept Layla for who she is. Keep your opinions to yourself. I don't want to discuss it with you, unless you have a medical degree. I don't want you to debate on whether or not my child is "normal". She isn't, and that's ok with us. We need it to be ok for you as well. <br />
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So, to answer your questions and statements above,<br />
<b>Yes, she can hear you. She can hear very well actually. She just wanders and doesn't respond to you when you call her name. Its a part of dealing with autism. </b><br />
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Autism (and any other special needs) does not mean "stupid", so yes, she is smart. She also is autistic. </b><br />
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You can pray for her all you like. We do as well. But rather than pray for her to be healed, pray for us, pray that we are shown how to help her and guide her and raise her properly. That is more important to me than making my child "normal". I love watching her wrap things into her hair for comfort, and the other quirky things she loves to do. So, while praying for her healing, pray for her as an individual as well. Accept her and her autism as well.<br />
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Yes, Layla loves to interact with our friends and play with other children. But you also have to understand, just because you've seen and heard about what one child is like with autism, You only met ONE child with autism. Everyone is different. Please keep this in mind.<br />
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Yes, Layla loves to be held, to snuggle, to cuddle, and to be kissed on. Again.. not every autistic child doesn't like to be touched. <br />
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While her speech therapist thinks that its possible Layla will score off the autism chart later on, I'm not getting my hopes up, just in case. And I'd really appreciate it if you didn't either. Thanks.<br />
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If Layla can do every other milestone early, She could talk. She's not talking. We want her in speech to help with this, to get her going. Instead of telling me "she's going to talk when she's ready", which now at this point makes me want to cry and punch you in the face, please don't say anything at all. Be proud that we took the steps to get her enrolled in speech and trying to help her get going. Many autistic children are non verbal. Do some research.</b><br />
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<b><i>And finally, please. Please, please, just think before you speak! It is a sensitive subject for me and my husband to discuss with everyone. Be kind. Be sensitive. Be patient. <br />
When Layla has a tantrum and a meltdown, don't judge. She is experiencing a sensory overload. So rather than shaking your damn heads and talking about our lack of parenting skills, how about walk a mile in my shoes, a mile in Layla's shoes even.. and offer support. Offer to dim the lights, find her blanket and monk monk that calm her down. Layla is a well behaved child, but certain situations just get to her. Please be understanding of this. No, I don't want your advice. No I don't want your judgement either. I want you to come up, hug me, and tell me I'm doing a good job, even when it looks like I have no control. I promise, there's a method to the madness. I just want to know Its going to be ok..and that I'm doing ok.<br />
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If you want to do research and learn more about autism, I recommend checking out www.autismspeaks.org <br />
They have been an invaluable resource for us. Although everyday is a learning experience in our house, this website helps us understand just a little bit easier. <br />
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Thank you.<br />
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If you are reading this and think your child may be on the spectrum( including sensory processing disorders) and are interested in getting it further evaluated, or your child is "off" or behind in language and communication.. please don't hesitate, the earlier you seek help and get help, the better the outcome for your child because early intervention in the early years (while the brain is still developing) can help "retrain" your child's brain, giving them a better outcome later in life. We have had to fight for Layla to get this far, but not giving up and pushing for her to be further evaluated was what got others to finally notice what we did. You can't give up!<br />
If you are needing help with speech or occupational therapies, check into early intervention programs in your area. In florida, early intervention is called Early Steps. <br />
Early steps is federally funded and can pay for speech therapy and occupational therapy, or they can work with your insurance to waive your copays as well if you so choose. A doctor can refer you into the program, or you can contact them yourself and have your child evaluated.<br />
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Each state has a different name for their program, but it is worth looking into. Services can go from birth to age 3, and they help develop an IEP for school age kids after that time as well (and if it is needed).<br />
Just google "early intervention in _________(your state here)__________" and see what pops up. <br />
or http://www.autismspeaks.org/early-access-care/ei-state-info<br />
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For help finding an autism diagnosis or sensory diagnosis, check<br />
Where to get an autism diagnosis by (your state) with autism speaks as well.<br />
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I hope this helps. :)<br />
Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-19499029167973988932014-09-24T14:35:00.002-04:002014-09-24T14:35:52.546-04:00A Natural Choice: BOX NaturalsSo, in my last posts(and I apologize for the lack of posting), I was dealing with a lot of feminine issues downstairs. No one ever really likes to admit that things "aren't quite right" because of the stigma that comes along with it. Fear of being judged because you "must be dirty" or "don't take care of yourself", well, truth is, Infections don't discriminate whether you have a clean or a dirty hoo hah, although you are more likely to end up with an infection if you don't take proper care of yourself. I, however, did everything correctly..from not using perfumed products, to not using soap and only water down there, washing clothes in hypoallergenic soap, to using reusable menstrual products (aka My Sckoon cup!), to taking probiotics and prebiotics, but infections still come to me easily. It was worse with the Mirena. Finally after I had it removed, and the bleeding stopped, I had issues continuing after that, I always felt irritated, and uncomfortable, always itching and burning, and battling constant infections, I would try so called soothing wipes, only to end up more irritated and with another yeast infection. When I went in for my pap smear that year, I was called with my results and told my pap was abnormal, and that I needed a colposcopy. My colposcopy and biopsy results showed abnormal changes, grade 2 (CIN2) precancerous cells on my cervix, so my husband, my doctor, and I decided that we would undergo a LEEP procedure to remove the cells, instead of taking a wait and see six month approach (as is industry standard). I went in December 19th, for My leep and had a follow up appointment six weeks later, in January 2014. My doctor practically hugged me when she came in for going ahead with the procedure. She said that within the 2 weeks from my biopsy results, to the surgery date, my precancerous cells had turned to Stage 0 cervical cancer (aka CIN3 but definitely contained cancer cells as I'd later find out). Because it was stage 0 and she was super thorough and made sure I got clear margins, I wouldn't need Chemo, but it would be six months before we would know if it worked for sure. Scary! At this appointment I told her my irritated constantly feeling had improved, except for the week before I was due for good ole aunt flo to show up, I was also left extremely sensitive to anything (still) that touched me. I said then I become irritated and developed a yeast infection, every month it seemed like.<br />
Doctor M explained that in some individuals, their bodies are super sensitive to the changes in the hormones before Aunt Flo shows up and therefore it causes an imbalance down there and wah lah! Infection! <br />
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Her solution for me was: Use aquaphor, and hydrocortisone cream a week before my period, and take a diflucan pill about that time as well to combat my hormone drop infection issues. Cool.<br />
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Until you try to use it. <br />
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So one day, while I was on instagram, I saw a post about BOX naturals. They said they used essential oils, were PH balanced, biodegradable, and only natural ingredients in their wipes (which can be used other places other than just your hoo hoo!). I am a firm believer in essential oils and their healing properties (don't even get me started on my love for Young Living Essential oils!), but I was very nervous about buying a whole box and then they don't work, even though their price is extremely reasonable ($8.99 for a box of 12). I know my body, I thought. I know I'd buy them and then totally be in hell because of it! So, I decided to ask a question to the company and voice my concern because of how sensitive I am after the whole cancer thing. They offered to send me a trial pack so I could test the product and see if it worked for me. Jackie was so sure it would be perfect for me. I was very grateful for this opportunity..and I was determined that I would email them back and let them know if it worked for me or if it didn't. They deserved to know either way. I received my samples in the mail and was impressed with the super cute packaging and the very sweet note included. I received a Lavender towelette and a Rosewater towelette. I waited until I knew I was about due for my monthly visitor to test them out, because I know this is the time I react the most to everything, therefore I would be putting BOX naturals to the true test! <br />
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Fast forward about 2 weeks later, I was woken up to Aunt Flow coming to visit me a day early. But the classic irritation was there. With great hesitation, I reached for my Lavender BOX wipe and decided I would give it a try. I took it out of the package and smelled the beautiful smell of lavender, the sheet itself was strong (not wimpy feeling at all!), and it was really high quality stuff. Definitely impressed. I took a breath in and took the hoo hah cleansing plunge. Usually it takes several minutes before the burning, itching, and feeling like my hoo hah is on fire to kick in, so I waited. The only thing I noticed was the fact that my irritation was now gone, I wasn't itchy, and I felt BETTER than before I had used the wipe! This feeling lasted me for HOURS. No burning. No itching. No infection. Nothing! My irritation was completely gone! It had to be the lavender essential oil (which is excellent for hoo hoo issues, ladies). I was beyond estatic! I emailed Jackie from BOX naturals, and I swear I must have told her a hundred times "THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMPANY AND AMAZING PRODUCT!". BOX naturals truly is an amazing company! If it could not cause a reaction with ME..its definitely worth it! I recommend every woman have Lavender wipes for their lady parts in case you get caught off guard (or work out and get sweaty and irritated from that)..and Rosewater for face and other parts! They are that good!! Do yourself a favor, ladies, and head over to <a href="http://www.boxnaturals.com/"></a> and go buy yourself a box or two...and see what BOX can do for you! You will not regret it! <br />
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What also sold me on the product? (and Im taking it from their website)"<i>BOX products are all natural, individually wrapped towelettes that are gently scented with essential oils. Made in the USA, pH balanced and 100% biodegradable, they’re also entirely free of parabens, dyes, petrochemicals, sulfates, and synthetic fragrances."</i> They also post their ingredient list online here <a href="http://www.boxnaturals.com/products"></a>. How many other companies that make your make up and your feminine wipes do this? I bet not many! So, Um... Yeah, I'll take 10 Boxes, thank you :)<br />
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Please note: I was not paid in any way shape or form for this review. These are my own thoughts and opinions, and I just happen to be head over heels for this company, their product, and their amazing customer service! <br />
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BOX Naturals, You should be proud of yourselves!! You make an excellent product and have wonderful employees! I salute and support you 100%!!!<br />
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Coming soon: A review of the ERGO BABY 360! and BOB Revolution Jogging stroller SE :)Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-24644201709066640192014-05-13T13:18:00.001-04:002014-05-17T12:25:43.158-04:00Sckoon Cup = Love, Love, Love (A post about how you can come to enjoy your period)The title probably has your eyebrows raised, <i>(and if you are a male, I suggest leaving now before I mentally scar you for life</i>) how can one enjoy your period? Am I insane? Probably. But if you hear me out and give a menstrual cup a try.. you will be proud to call yourself insane. I promise.<br />
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So what is a Sckoon cup you may ask? A sckoon cup is a menstrual cup, made of medical grade silicone. Next question you are probably asking is what the heck is a menstrual cup? A menstrual cup is a cup (usually made of silicone, but you can get some of latex/rubber..but why? Just why?) that collects your blood flow, rather than absorbing it. Why is this better than pads or tampons? A multitude of reasons!<br />
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Pads vs. A Menstrual Cup:<br />
1. You have to buy them every single month (and for some women, one package isn’t enough) and at anywhere from $4-7 a package, multiply that by 12 and see whatcha get. Ouch.<br />
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2. Pads gave me rashes. Didn’t matter which brand, I broke out into a horrid rash. <br />
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3. You sit in your own blood with a pad. Eww. Nasty.<br />
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4. Pads smell, because your bloodflow comes in contact with the air.<br />
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5. Noisy packaging that is in no way, shape, or form “discreet”. So everyone and their mother and brother know you are on your period.<br />
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Tampons vs. A Menstrual Cup:<br />
1. Tampons may allow you freedom from rashes and smell, but can cause more cramps<br />
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2. Risk of TSS (toxic shock syndrome)<br />
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3. Rayon fibers left behind in your hoo hah. <br />
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4. Absorbs everything. Including your own natural lubrication, which can leave you feeling itchy and more suspectible to infections. (didn’t know that previously? Yeah manufacturers don’t advertise that on tv!)<br />
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5. No more wandering string! Ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about. That damn string wanders. When I had to start fishing it in my behind, I was done. Not to mention it getting wrapped up in my lady bits made my lady bits unhappy! (I’m super sensitive..)<br />
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6. Noisy packaging, plus waste from the applicators. <br />
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7. Risk of ruining your septic system.<br />
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8. You may need different sizes during your cycle, which means different boxes.. which means more money spent to end up, literally in the trash or down the drain.<br />
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So the Pros to a menstrual cup:<br />
1. No noisy packaging. Most menstrual cups come in a silent pouch made of cloth (and sckoons is organic. Win Win!)<br />
2. Sckoon cup is made out of medical grade silicone, which has no absorption to it, so your natural lubrication is left right where it belongs. It’s also FDA approved.<br />
3. No smells to alert the world you are on your period, no pad lines, and no need to sit in your own blood. *gag*<br />
4. No wandering string! <br />
5. Its reusable! So, within 6 months (at say $6 for a box of tampons) the cup has already paid for itself, and you no longer have to worry about “do I have enough tampons to last me through today?” “do I have enough pads to make it through my vacation without buying more?” Yeah.. that question no longer exsists! You have your cup, your pouch and you are good to go! Talk about….<br />
6. Space Savers! No more huge bulky boxes and packages under the sink! <br />
7. No more embarrassing “Oh no, did my so and so see my tampons in there?” panic moment.<br />
8. You are going Green with a menstrual cup.<br />
9. Menstrual cups last for years. Again “MONEY SAVER”.<br />
10. Menstrual cups are comfortable and do not cause cramps. In some cases, they have helped relieve cramps and shorten periods because your flow is allowed to “flow”. Its not being absorbed and you aren’t dealing with chemicals in pads or tampons, which can attribute to cramps as well.<br />
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So, whats the cons to a menstrual cup, you may ask? The cons would be short. Its hard to find a fault with a menstrual cup that can’t be overcome.<br />
1. Some women experience a learning curve and have leakage the first couple of months. Don’t give up! <br />
2. The “EWW” factor. Yes, a cup collects your blood, so you have to empty the cup.This also is a learning curve and disappears over time. (If I could..you can!)<br />
3. You do have to know your anatomy a little bit ;)<br />
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I hate blood, I hate the sight of blood..any blood. I get woozy and lightheaded. I was really hestitant to try a menstrual cup because of how it collects the blood and then you have to dump the contents down the toilet, and rinse it out. The thought of that (what I call the “eww factor”) deterred me for awhile. After I had Layla, I had a Mirena IUD placed at my 6 week checkup. I ended up bleeding for the next 8 months (along with constant infections) before I finally just called my doctor and told them what was going on and that I couldn’t take it anymore. But during that 8 months, I was constantly plugged up with a tampon and I was always irritated because of it. I couldn’t wear pads or pantyliners because they made me break out into a huge rash. Cloth pads were an option, except my whole blood phobia and I hate the idea of sitting in my own mess. Eww. So, I stumbled upon menstrual cups. I found a free sample of “Instead Softcups”, and tried them. There is a learning curve to them as well, but I was determined to make it work. I had no more irritation and no wandering string. Awesome! I used those for about 6 months as I found out I had an abnormal pap, that went from normal to CIN3 (which is considered stage 0 cervical cancer) in a matter of months, caused by none other than that damn Mirena IUD. I had a leep procedure done in December, and then I began researching which menstrual cup I wanted. I did a lot of research and narrowed it down to two. The ladycup and Sckoon cup. I ended up choosing the Sckoon cup because 1. They are made in the USA. (Keepin it patriotic here), 2. It is smooth..no ridges, rims or other random parts to irritate my already super sensitive lady parts. 3. Medical grade, FDA approved, silicone. (I’m allergic to latex). 4. They deal with mostly organic stuff. 5. Its listed as the “softest” cup available.<br />
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In March, I finally took the plunge and bought my Sckoon Cup (Ecopak!). I was in love. I did have some issues when I did a dry run, which were I had trouble telling if it had opened up completely while inside me. However, I had to be doing it right because when good old Aunt Flo showed up, I experienced not a single leak. It was super comfortable, and by my second month of using it, I feel like a pro. I shudder to think how often I used disposables, when these were so easy and I was helping the planet by not creating so much waste (or clogging septic systems ;) ) I am going to purchase a size 1 here soon, because I do feel the size 2 is a little too big for me, as I have a super light period thanks to Lo loestrin fe and I guess my lady parts are a little smaller. I asked Sckoon cup, via their Instagram page, if this would be advisable, or if I should just stick with the size 2. Their response was that if I was “fit”, I could probably get away with a size 1, especially if I had a light flow. I will do an update of the size 1 when the time comes (within the next month or so). My cramps I haven’t noticed that big of a difference in, as they aren’t too bad after having Layla (previous endometriosis sufferer) and being on BCP. <br />
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How long can you wear your cup? You can wear your menstrual cup for up to 12 hours! Yes ladies, 12 hours! Imagine being able to leave your house in the morning, and not having to worry about your period all day long! Can we say “confidence booster”?! However, if you are on your first day or so and you have a heavy flow, you may need to empty yours sooner than 12 hours. It will take you a few cycles using your cup to learn when you need to empty it and how long it takes you to fill it. Its also going to take a few cycles to learn to get used to and how to use your cup properly so you don’t have leaks anyway. Don’t get discouraged if you do experience leaks. It takes 2-3 cycles to perfect the ‘art’ of using a cup. I feel like using the instead softcups for those few months prior to making the switch to Sckoon Cup really helped me get a feel (literally! Lol) for where my cup should go, and that’s why I didn’t have any leak issues with my cup. It was a little weird for me at first to sit and have to push things inside me and reach inside me to pull it out. With a tampon, you just push it in. With a softcup, you have to push it down and back (almost like you are pushing it to your bottom instead of up inside you..) . I used this method when I got my Sckooncup and this really seemed to help me with insertion as well. Inserting your Sckoon cup should not hurt! I repeat, it should NOT hurt. If it is hurting, you need to stop, reread your directions, and perhaps get you some water based lube or some cold water, begin breathing and try again. For lube, I use Luvena prebiotic. It’s a prebiotic water based lube (glycerin free) that my doctor recommended when I was having all my issues when I had the IUD in. For insertion you fold your Sckoon cup in one method that is recommended with your instructions, I found the first two recommended folds to be the best. I usually use the C-fold method, but the punchdown fold works just as well for me. Once you find the "fold" that works for you, you then can use your water or your water based lubricant (Luvena, in my case), and push down and back. I know the "down and back" seems to make no sense, like you are pushing it towards your rear end, but this is actually the correct way! You'll get used to it. Whatever you do, do not push it up like you would a tampon. I had mine pop open part way and somehow hit my external lady bits and yeah.. NOT fun! It does make for a good giggle now though. I've found the down and back method has left me with no questions of "is it in right?" and definitely left me leak free. <br />
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<i>Pictures online make menstrual cups seem huge! This intimidated me so much when I began to research cups. I thought "how is that HUGE thing supposed to fit in here?!" However, when I ordered my size 2 sckoon and it arrived, I was shocked at how TINY it was! I thought they shipped me a size 1 by mistake!! My size 2 sckoon cup (without measuring the stem) is not even as long as my thumb..which is all of 3 inches. Ladies, please, our men are longer than 2 1/2 inches, so don't let pictures fool you!! I tried to take some to show its actual size, but I couldn't get it to look any less bigger on camera either. So please, don't let the pictures intimidate you and influence your decision! Sckoon cups are also the smallest out of each menstrual cup brand. *thumbs up*</i><br />
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To clean your cup, you simply boil it for 5 minutes or clean it with a menstrual cup wash. Sckoon does not make a wash of their own yet, but both Divacup and Lunette cups webpages do. You could also wash with some soap you have at home, but go for unscented. Scented items going into your hoo hah are never a good idea. <br />
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All in all, I would not trade my Sckoon Cup in for the world! I am so happy I purchased my cup, and that I made the switch to a reusable menstrual product that wont hurt me, leave fibers or chemicals inside me, and has health benefits for me and the envoirnment! I tell everyone who will listen about it! One small change can help in big ways, and I hope that I’ve helped some of you ladies make a small change. I wasn’t given a free cup to review, I purchased the cup and am writing the review because I believe in putting the word out there for great products and helping women empower themselves and make informed decisions when it comes to researching menstrual cups. I believe in the product so much, I signed up to become a Sckoon Cup Green Ambassador! THAT’S how impressed I am with the company The only other company I’ve done reviews for (again, I bought and paid for these products, fell in love, and wrote a review about it) was ErgoBaby.<br />
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<b>If you have any questions about Sckoon cups or anything else in general about this post, feel free to leave a comment.<br />
If by chance, you have decided to purchase a Sckoon Cup, go to their website at www.sckooncup.com and please feel free to use my associate code (being a green ambassador benefit) to save yourself 10% off your order: My code is WUEZOB . </b><br />
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<b>And please, tell a friend! Lets help get Sckoon cups mainstream!! <i></i></b><br />
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Sizes: Size 1: under 25 and have not given birth<br />
Size 2: 25 or older or have given birth. <br />
Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-30421880392857598962013-10-19T11:16:00.000-04:002014-05-17T12:35:26.970-04:00Southern to the Core...in some ways!So when a lot of people think of Florida, they think of suntan lotion, bikinis, Miami, Daytona, Orlando, beaches...etc. A Southerner would see Florida as "BOILED PEANUT STANDS!" So, because I made my first batch of boiled peanuts on Wednesday, I decided I would post a recipe..because they were dang sure good! I <b>LOVE<i></i></b> Garlic! So I made Garlic boiled peanuts. <br />
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<strike>Here's what you will need:</strike><br />
1 lb of uncooked shell peanuts<br />
3/4 cup (more or less, depending on your saltiness taste, I usually play it by ear, this is just a guess) <br />
3-4 Garlic cloves <br />
Water enough to fill up crock pot<br />
then half a quart size pot for final boil <br />
So, I first let my peanuts cook on high in my crock pot overnight, from about 7pm til 4am when DH got up and turned it off. I added 2 garlic cloves at 11pm and let the taste get into the water (mince these two cloves!). I also added some salt at this point, but not a lot, because the peanut shells were still pretty hard, they don't absorb much flavors at this point. Then the next morning I smashed the two remaining cloves and broke them in halves, transferred the peanuts to a big pot and added some more water and salt, boiled for about 2 hours, and PERFECTION! The garlic and salt were able to soak through the shells by morning, adding a wonderfully delicious taste. Yum.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-68816537347285728192013-09-28T12:01:00.000-04:002014-05-17T12:10:40.979-04:00Avoiding the Same old, same old... 5 years!!There comes a time in life when you realize you have settled into a routine. You do pretty much the same thing, every single day. For example, Chris wakes up and gets ready for work at 5:40, I try to wake up to sit with him while he has his morning coffee and snuggles with me before leaving at 6:15, then Layla and I wake up every morning at 7:30 (with a little variance here and there to such a time as 7:31 or 7:32), we have our morning BF'ing session, then she eats Mum Mums and Aunt Kim comes over before she heads to Hibbetts. The rest of our day is spent exploring, eating, napping then mom rushing around trying to clean, study, and do homework while she is napping, and then we watch some tv together, and when it cools down outside, I take Layla outside for a walk with her puppy walker, and play time in the grass. Chris returns home about 6:15pm, and Layla has dinner, bath, and bed by 8pm. Chris and I are not far along behind her at about 9.<br />
We got together 5 years ago today. We actually had met several weeks beforehand, and Chris spent two weeks trying to get me to give him the time of day. I loved his son, but Chris? He drove me nuts, what man walks up to you and says "hey, can I cook you dinner one night?" and acted like it is nothing. What man walks up and gives you his number and says "you can call me tonight, if you get bored?" who asks if you will help them pick out a dog for their kid? He would come back in after signing JD out, just to come in and talk to me. He was persistant, cocky, and soooooo hot. I didn't want to talk to him or give him the time of day because I didn't want to like him. It was really undeniable though that he was everything I looked for in a man physically..and mentally. However, I've always had terrible luck with men, so why should I even bother trying to keep up and give them any chances? Besides that, I was dating someone else at the time, who was in the Army and nearly double my age, and I was happy with that relationship. However, he knew I wouldn't cheat on him, but he knew I was young and could use more experience around men, so he encouraged me to accept Chris' offer of dinner. I refused. I never called him, I never text him. When he would mention that his "phone never rang", I'd cooly reply "I didn't get bored". He still didn't give up. My coworkers all liked Chris immediately, he was young and good looking, and he was stable (something Rick wasn't). They both tried to convince me to accept his offer for dinner saying "Hey, you never know, you may have fun and like him, you never know unless you give it a try" (Kim, I am holding you to this! coughcoughbrockolicoughcough).. finally one Friday afternoon, I realized that JD wasn't there, and we had already had a bond, so I decided to text Chris to see where my "son" was (I had a group of kids who I called my kids). He was like "Who is this?" and I was like "Miss Brie!" a few minutes later he text back and was like "OH the hot teacher!" .. I had to stop reading the text and recompose myself because I started laughing so hard.. who says that to someones face? OMG where is this guy from freaking mars? finally I read on "JD is going to his friends house tonight, I get off at noon on Fridays so I picked him up. " I replied back "oh ok, I was just wondering, Hes a great kid, i'll miss him on Fridays". No sooner than I hit send, another text "How about dinner tonight then?" Persistant little bugger... geez. I sighed and looked at Kim and Patti and my grandma and told them that he asked me out to dinner...again. "HE LIKES YOUUUU!" "GO!" "HAVE FUN! YOU DESERVE IT!" Even Rick text "Go, have fun.. I have missions this weekend and wont be available to talk. I trust you, I love you". Little did I know, but would soon find out, Rick's "missions" involved sleeping around with another woman on a regular basis, and I don't share well, so our relationship would be over in a matter of days after that text. (ps to all you cheating morons who send pictures of you and "female friends" ... you can right click and hit properties which tells you the date and time pictures were taken. Im no fool.) So, I text Chris back "sure, dinner sounds good. I don't get off til 6:30 though and I'll need a shower and all" He text back "how about 8? That enough time for you to get pretty? I'll pick you up.. I'll need directions though" "k sounds good. talk to you when I get off." Everyone was beaming but me.. lol. At about 8:15, Chris finally rolls into my yard.. he missed a turn and was halfway to sopchoppy before he realized he was probably going the wrong direction. He allowed me to drive when he got there, which was amazing. He also reached over and pushed play on his CD player, which started blaring Gary allan music.. I flipped out and asked him who told him. He looked confused, and was like "told me what?" "That Gary Allan is my favorite singer, ever!" "Oh.. he's mine too! no one told me that, I swear". GREAT. Just what I need, someone to compete with me over my gary allan favoriteness. lol. We talked about our birthdays and discovered our birthdays were one day apart, split up by 9 years difference. He told me he had a lot of things to tell me about himself and his past one day, I told him no worries, I had a past that I refused to tell him about because I didn't want or need anyone's pity anymore. I just said its "effed up" and leave it at that. He took me back to his apartment, which raised my guard a bit, because I thought we'd be going to dinner somewhere in PUBLIC, aka neutral ground. He said he had rented a movie, had some drinks, and got a pizza.. (some dinner! lol) He apologized because it was so impromptu that he didn't have time to prepare or it would have been better. I was fine with that although I can't eat pizza sauce, like ever, without getting a killer heartburn acid reflux type reaction, so I refused to eat but had plenty to drink. We watched our movie and talked, I fell asleep for a little while, he kept trying to kiss me and cuddle me and I kept pushing him away. He even tried to undress himself!! He asked me if i'd consider moving in, and that we should try to have a baby together, because we'd "make a beautiful baby". I was pissed! The alcohol had kicked in though and I decided to show him how to "get down"...which I completely made a fool out of myself. As I started to go downhill from alcohol, he asked me to come inside so he could get me a jacket because it was cool outside. He tried to get "fresh" with me again, so I then told him to take me home, immediately. He looked hurt but did just that, as I cursed headlights and tried to dance on the stairs, finally as I got home I had sobered up some, I climbed out of his truck, and prepared to slam the door, when he was pleading with me to just "look at me" I refused because "you're just going to try to kiss me like they do in the movies or something", but I got out of the truck, then glared up at him, he was like "I just want to remember this, in case you never want to see me again". I closed the door, and muttered "got that right!" and stumbled into bed. The next morning my grandma asked me how my "date" went. I told her "terrible, I never want to see or speak to him again!" She got upset because she hated rick, so she was hoping I would have had fun so I'd leave Rick (which ended up happening because of his infidelity, discovered in the next day). a few mins later, I receive two texts from chris "Good morning, I keep thinking about you this morning, I miss you". OH HELL NO, NOW HES NEEDY and CLINGY? NO. I ignore that, and his call. Finally later on I text him about a bruise on my arm, he texts immediately "you hit your arm on the table when you were dancing"... Oh..my...goodness. "did I keep my clothes on?" "Yeah..unfortunately for me" "sicko" he calls me a few moments later, "Hey, would you consider going to the pound with me and JD tomorrow to look at dogs? Do you know their hours?" "Yeah, 1-6. Ok, I'll go, because I told JD I would." "ok good, he was asking if you would come with us, I wasn't sure..after last night. Look, Im really sorry.. I don't know what my problem was, and that's not an excuse. But I am not normally like that, Im really sorry." "I can live with that. What time do you want to go tomorrow?" "How about I pick you up at 1?" "sure." "Ok, see you then, bye."<br />
The next day, 09/28/2008, Chris and JD showed up right at 1pm, JD was in love with the 7 dogs at my house, and super excited that I was going with them. I kissed Kasey goodbye, introduced Chris to my grandfather, who was providing a healthy amount of stank eye in his direction, and we left. We walked around the shelter, looking for that "right dog". JD and I fell in love with a big pit bull dog, and I walked around to find Chris bent in front of a kennel, on his knees, "We found a dog we like", I say as I bend down to let a puppy lick my finger and steady myself on his shoulder, "I like this little guy right here..." I look over to see a little brindle puppy, who's head is small but his body is huge. He's adorable. JD thinks so too, so I let the workers know we would like to see this one, as we are escorted outside to play with him. The moment I saw Chris snuggling this little puppy, my heart melted. He's not a bad guy at all. He adopted that puppy that day.. and 5 years later, Turk is still asleep at my feet. As we neared the apartment, Turk got carsick all over me, and the truck, I still go into fits of giggles over the scene as it was happening "HOLD HIM OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!!!" "WHAT? NO!" That evening, I told Chris I'd bring him a kennel and etc so he didn't have to go to Tallahassee to buy everything right away, we could go next weekend. As I come back, JD is overjoyed to see me, and Turk curls up in my lap. Chris was like "see..he knows already who his mom is.." After JD goes to bed, Chris and I sit on the floor with Turk. He looks so handsome lying there.. I can remember it so well. We looked at one another for a few minutes, then we just kissed once. His kiss did something electric to my body, and you could tell it did the same thing to him. We agreed we wanted to be friends for awhile, and if we felt like things were good, we wanted to eventually go into a relationship later on. We wanted to do things right for JD, and for us. From that point on, we were all inseperable. We never kissed or hugged in front of JD, and I spent nearly every evening after work with them (mostly at JD's request). As time went on, we realized we were crazy about one another.. 11 1/2 months after we met, we were sitting together, and all of a sudden he leans into my ear and whispers " I love you". I knew in an instant that he meant it, with every fiber of his being. I couldn't breathe, I got all teary eyed, as I told him I loved him too. I was crazy in love with this man, although it was a different feeling of love than I'd ever felt. I felt like he healed me, he completed me, he fixed the broken parts, and disreguarded the messed up parts, and he made me feel at peace. Safe. Protected. It was the most contented feeling. whenever I saw him, my heart skipped beats and instantly my day was better. Here we are 5 years later, I still feel the same way about Chris. He walks into the house or room and instantly, I still feel all happy giddy, but yet I feel complete. Its not that crazy story book romantic story type feelings you see in movies. But that's the difference between what we read and see on tv, those are ficton, this is real. So, I guess some things never become the same old, same old. Even though our rountines may feel like the same old, same old, feelings and emotions do not become that way when they are something that is real. This man is my life, my heart, my soul. In the 5 years we've been together, he's blessed me with a daughter, my step son, a family (momma in particular!), and my college degree, hes blessed me with confidence, teaching me to speak up for myself, and to take a stand, and on June 2, 2012, he blessed me with his last name. He works so hard to make sure we have everything.He does drive me insane sometimes, and makes me mad to where I want to hit him with a frying pan, but of course, at the end of the day, all I can think about is how much I really do love him and that makes the silly reasons of being mad, seem so tiny. Our life isn't perfect, and I promised him long ago, that when he got with me, He'd never be bored because I always do something to keep things interesting... I have yet to fail in that respect. lol. But our life is perfect for us.. it has ups and downs. It has swigs and swags, zigs and zags.. but we wouldn't have it any other way. Hes never been one for a whole lot of words when it comes to emotional things, but the other evening, he really did leave me speechless. He told me I was the center of his world, his everything, and that he loved me more than anything in this world. Little does he know, he is all that to me..and so much more. Layla and I are blessed to call him "dada" and my husband. The same old same old after 5 years? Never. :) Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-11181112996533539712013-08-26T13:28:00.000-04:002013-08-26T20:12:43.557-04:00Whats My Superpower? I make Milk! A post on breastfeedingBreastfeeding seems to be the most simplistic tasks that could possibly be given to a woman. Its programmed into our DNA..thats why we grow boobs, so when you're pregnant, you're thinking "it can't be that difficult to do!" so you don't give it too much thought.
Wrong move!
Breastfeeding is an art. Its a skill. A skill that requires mastering. When I gave birth to Layla, and they had the chance to finally get her to cry (it took a tube and suction to clear her lungs first), they finished halfway cleaning her and laid her onto my chest. She promptly lifted her head and looked around, as if she was 2 months old and not 2 minutes old. Amid her fan club of grandmothers, god mothers, and one super proud dada, she was able to put on the best show ever. She then decided it was time to find my boobs and find them fast.
I rarely held babies, so I was terrified I'd drop her, or would hurt her, or something. anything. Then, she latched. OUCH.
I was so tired, my adrenaline had way past kicked in and run out, so I was crashing. I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone "cradle" a baby and try to figure out how to breastfeed.
The next two days in the hospital were increasingly frustrating. I couldn't go to sleep, I couldn't figure out how to properly get Layla to latch on, she was screaming constantly, and the nurses and lactation nurses only made me feel worse. Like I was expected to know how to do this immediately, then told me I wasn't doing it right and maybe I should just give her some formula by the time I was released. My boobs hurt. My nipples hurt. I was tired. I was sore. I was exhausted..I cried again hysterically for the second time since I had gave birth. I thought I would be a failure if I couldn't figure out how to put a baby to my nipple and feed her.. I guess now I knew why they called breastfeeding "an art".
The nurse told me I would have to go rent a pump and pump to feed my girl. Freaked out, as soon as I was discharged from the hospital, we went to rent a pump. (Little did I know, my insurance covered pumps for FREE... and the nurse wouldn't tell me!)
We got home and I began to pump, my boobs were killing me.
My mother in law got me a glider for the nursery and my boppy pillow was waiting, with Chris' help and the boppy and the glider, I finally found my comfortable position for nursing and we no longer had any issues. Layla is 10 and a half months old and I can feed her, type a paper and talk on the phone all at once. Its so hard in those early days to see it as being "easy" one day..but it does happen eventually.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-28492689889471935862013-08-07T16:38:00.000-04:002013-08-12T17:23:43.751-04:00What was going on.. Post IUD updateSo, I did have a culture done on 7/25. Results done from the culture showed absolutely nothing. No yeast, no BV, no nothing. My cooter was still on fire however, so that did not help me what so ever. Dr. M prescribed me some nystatin cream, thinking that would help, then told me that I needed to try applying aquaphor as sort of a barrier for my labia. ...so yes, in a sense, my gyno had me use chapstick on my vagina. She said breastfeeding can change things in our body, so maybe I had become allergic to something. She also prescribed me a birth control combination pill called Lo Loestrin FE (dosing = 1mg/10mcg)
The nystatin did nothing but make me burn more.
The aquaphur did nothing but make me burn more.
I use hypoallergenic Tide Free and Clear and No dryer sheets. I got BV once from an allergic reaction to a new laundry soap so I learned this the hard way that I need to use hypoallergenic things in the "down there" regions. I went and bought some Summers Eve hypoallergenic body wash, in case my regular body was irritating me somehow.
They called me back with my culture results and decided that they were going to send me to a dermatologist because she had absolutely no idea what was going on with me.
So, I started researching because she said "breastfeeding can change things in the body, such as your vaginal ph" so I got to reasearching "breastfeeding causing vaginal problems" and the first thing that popped up was Atrophic Vaginitis (aka Vaginal Atrophy). Atrophic Vaginitis usually occurs in menopausal women and is caused by a decrease in estrogen. This condition also strikes..get ready for it.. BREASTFEEDING WOMEN!
I had every single symptom. I mean every single one. I mean right down to the urinary pain and cramping and burning here and there when I peed. To feeling like I had to go..but yet my UTI test came back negative.
Atrophic Vaginosis also causes you to burn, itch, and feel dry, sex hurts, can take longer to achieve orgasm, and can cause random cramping. The lack of estrogen can also cause an increase in dah dah dah Yeast infections as well. They said if you are breastfeeding and experiencing these but have no infections, this is probably what you are going through. I definitely was burning and itching. Sex had been uncomfortable for awhile, but we chalked it up to being the IUD and Chris was starting to think I wasn't attracted to him anymore because it was "taking me too long" to finish.. when in fact, I am more attracted to, and more in love with that man every single day.. I was just having some problems. I told him this, and he still felt hurt.
So, I read the suggestions on the website links to see what they said may help. Their suggestions were applying a lube like astroglide to the outter regions, if that helped the burning..you probably had AV.
I applied astroglide in a desperate attempt to hope that this is what was going on with me. My burning and itching subsided almost completely the entire weekend, I applied the lube 3-4 times a day.
I would also soak in a sitz bath of Young Living Essential Oils Lavender. AMAZING feeling, and helps you distress ;)
The next suggestion to help Atrophic Vaginitis was to have more regular sex. .... no comment here as this is a constant argument with hubby and I. lol. "How much is regular?" "Uh, not everyday brie..geez" "damn". lol
I tried to tell Chris this, and until he heard it from the doc and saw it in writing, he'd never believe me.
Finally, the article said if you had drying, soreness during exams (which mine were so painful!), burning externally along with itching (but again no infections), and were having the urinary symptoms, You had moderate/severe AV and needed an estrogen cream to help out.
Armed with my findings, I contacted Dr. Mckinnie's office Monday and let them know what I read, what I did, and how well it helped. Doctor Mckinnie agreed that I have Lactational Vaginal Atrophy, due to low estrogen caused by breastfeeding, and has since given me the estrogen cream, Estrace. I will update when I pick it up and begin to try it out.These conditions I believe should be more widely talked about/warned to breastfeeding moms. I was going insane thinking I developed some uncurable condition due to the Mirena, which, the mirena may also have helped cause because it depletes estrogen as well. But I haven't had a return of a yeast infection since I had it removed and finished my treatment, so that alone made it worth it! Oh and no more constant bleeding ;) YAY!
SIDE NOTE::I hadn't begun the birth control yet, because I noticed once Mirena was removed, My milk supply went up. I know she gave me a super low dose BCP but I had bad reactions to low dose BCP in the past with a lot of break through bleeding. I just spent the last 8 months bleeding every single day (actually 9, because I was still bleeding postpartum when I had the IUD inserted), I'd like to give my body a break. But anyway, I am super cautious about using this birth control for my milk supply reason as well. I am planning to breastfeed for another 2 months (layla turns one in 2 months and one week) so I think we can handle using protection, charting, and being super upper duper careful. I am not wanting anymore children, but I am definitely giving my body a break for awhile! Once I wean Layla in October, I am probably going to go back on Yaz..as I never really had any issues on that pill :)
If for some reason I end up pregnant in the next two months, I swear, I'll have a heart attack. I have 3 semesters left of school..before I take a year off and return hopefully to get my pharmacy technician degree. I would transfer to that now..but no credits transfer and Im not loosing close to 40 credits for that!! No way! So if I do end up pregnant, we are definitely not trying..we are trying to prevent, and therefore, it would be Divine intervention.
I'd need intervention if I saw a positive pregnancy test again.. lol. You have no idea!
<b>EDIT!!!! EDIT for UPDATE AFTER USING ESTRACE CREAM FOR LACTATIONAL VAGINAL ATROPHY</b>
So, My wonderful husband picked up my estrace cream for me on Thursday. It is a small tube, so I used 1 gram full (I don't think I needed the full 4 grams)..which equaled about 1/4 of the applicator. I inserted it and applied some externally and went to bed. The next day, I noticed my urinary symptoms were gone, and I didn't seem to be burning either. No itching.
So I didn't use any Friday internally or externally.
I also used some externally Saturday and we did the baby dance. I had no pain, no bleeding, no dryness. It felt great. I was of course worried about that though so I had some issues at first, but it was fine once I relaxed.
I haven't noticed any effects on my milk supply either, or I would not be continuing usage. I thought at first it had a slight decrease, but that was Layla trying to use my boobs for a teething toy insead.
I hope this helps anyone who has had the IUD and had similar issues, especially if you are breastfeeding and the symptoms continue after removal! Ask your doctor, it may not be a complete side effect of the IUD if you are breastfeeding still. For me, the constant anxious, up tight feeling I had with the IUD, the painful crampy feeling during sex, and then the constant spotting/bleeding, and yeast infections were enough for me to be glad I got it removed. The crampy feeling has stopped, the spotting stopped, and since treatment, I haven't had another infection at all since removal. So I do believe it had to do with the IUD, but breastfeeding exaggerated the atrophy as well. Remember, the IUD is a progestin releasing device, which can also deplete estrogen (especially while breastfeeding).
You aren't crazy ladies.. anything is possible.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-1683498317971597722013-07-25T14:10:00.000-04:002013-07-25T14:10:19.829-04:00Birth control, post baby..and IUD horror story!Before I write a post about Layla and I's breastfeeding journey, I am going to write about birth control for the breastfeeding woman. So if you are a man, or anyone I am related to and/or squeamish about birth control/sex, etc. Run now.. I repeat, run now!
I personally was terrified of getting pregnant again after giving birth to Layla. I hate condoms. You have no idea. Its like having sex with a balloon over a penis. It makes it feel almost like the penis has no head. lmao. Ok. Anyway, so for a breastfeeding woman, your options at your postpartum appointment aren't that vast (unlike if you were bottle feeding, you could go back to a regular, hormonal combination pill). You pretty much can choose the norplant implant, mini pill, or IUD. The choice is yours.
I was terrified of getting pregnant again, so I checked into IUD's, and was excited to see that my insurance covered insertion and cost 100%. Initally, I was going to go with the paraguard IUD, which is the copper IUD that has no hormones. It does tend to make you bleed heavy, but figured 10 years worth of birth control? Had to be worth it! Until Doctor Mckinnie put the kaposh on that. She said with my past medical history of severely painful, double you over cramp filled, heavy periods that the paraguard was a NO for me. She recommended the Mirena IUD...which offered short, light periods, to no periods after the first year, and lasted 5 years and had a less than 1% chance of failure rate. AWESOME! Sign me up!
I also looked into the mini pill, but that is not effective if you don't take it at the exact same time every day. No thanks, I'd be pregnant again in a month. I was not ok with any shots, or implants into my arm that will leave scars eventually.
I took the Mirena plunge at 6 weeks, 1 day postpartum. I was having irregular bleeding postpartum anyway, I'd stop for a day, and then flood for days during thanksgiving vacation. I got Mirena inserted, and bled for another 6 weeks. Great. I have a blood phobia, I hate blood from anyone and anything.. I don't care if its mine or not. My body still is squeamish about it. So bleeding for 12 weeks was torture. I stopped bleeding in time for my 6 week mirena insertion appointment. However, I had a yeast infection at that time. GREAT. So, Doctor Mckinnie gave me diflucan and said that should take care of it. She said spotting was common in the first 3 months of mirena too, so if I started spotting again, it should go away by the 3rd month. Well, 2 days after that appointment, I started bleeding again..for 2 months, stopped for a day, then got another yeast infection. Called in, got more pills, and then an internal cream. This cycle of bleeding, yeast infection, stop, bleed, spot, bleed, infection continued for months. I told myself after the 3 month mark, to give it to 6 months.
At the six month mark of the Mirena insertion, I was still bleeding and spotting and constantly battling a yeast infection. I follow the rules of "no tight clothes, cotton underwear, probiotics, ...." blah blah blah crap to prevent them, but nothing worked. Finally, about 2 weeks ago, I had enough. I had this thing for 7 and a half months and had over 10 yeast infections and was constantly bleeding and spotting. I was sick of it. I have never had so many issues before and figured that the only things different with me were A. I had a baby...9 months ago! and b. the Mirena. I figured that having a baby couldn't be causing this, and the only other thing I was doing differently was the Mirena. I called my new insurance and asked if it was covered for removal, and it was, so I quickly made an appointment for removal.
Upon calling my doctors office, they said I definitely needed it out and needed it out now!
Fast forward to July 19, 2013. I went for my appointment, and removal was quick and easy and over with before I realized it. NO problem. I did feel it collapse as it was coming out but that was it. I had some cramping afterwords but nothing that couldn't stop me, I didn't have any bleeding either, I did have some spotting sunday but that was nothing compared to what I've been dealing with.. My doctor said I didn't have any funny yeasty looking discharge, and wasn't too irritated looking, but she did do a wet prep swab and came back and said "yep, you're right, yeast!" She prescribed me 6 pills of diflucan, one to be taken that day and then repeat one in 3 days. during those first three days, I was also to use a teraconzole cream internally for 3 days as well. then I would take another diflucan pill once a week for a month. She said that should clear it all up and I should be fine.
I took my first diflucan pill Friday, as well as did all 3 evenings of teraconzole, and then sunday took my 3rd diflucan. Tuesday I was itching all over again, and burning as well. I called Wednesday morning and asked if I should give it a few more days or if I should be feeling better. They told me that I should be ok in a few days but if not, to call back and I'd have to go back in and get a culture to identify what is going on and whats causing this trouble.
I woke up this morning worse today than I was yesterday. I called them at 8:30 this morning as soon as they opened. The nurse was surprised that I was worse today, but was concerned as well, so she offered me an appointment for about a hour and a half from then, but I couldn't make it. (Its hard to bring Layla anywhere without having made preparation for someone else to come help me out). So she called doctor mckinnie to see if they could do something earlier tomorrow morning, they were able to schedule me an 8:15 appointment, right before doctor has to go into surgery .
The nurse said that now Pelvic inflammatory disease is a concern, she said that it could definitely affect fertility if its not caught early enough and she doesn't want to take that chance. I wanted to cry. I know I don't want anymore children, but I know chris does. Even though I don't, I don't want the possibility taken from me either.
ALL of these problems because I thought a fucking IUD would be a great choice for birth control. I was freaking crazy! I thought it was my best option and perhaps it was. However, we just didn't get along. I guarantee you, if I have PID or any other complication, I am going to jump on board with the Mirena Lawsuit.
I go tomorrow for my culture.. I'll update then.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-52272219084460721162013-07-22T15:41:00.002-04:002014-05-17T12:40:12.641-04:00Layla's Birth StoryContinuing from Pregnancy post. I was due on October 7th, 2012. Well, as what happens in many pregnancies, October 7th came and went. I was still pregnant at my "past due" appointment on October 10th. I was 2cm and 80% at that appointment, and was able to look at the call schedule and picked Sunday October 14th, 2012 for my induction date, as Doctor McKinnie was the OB on call that day. I hadn't had a Braxton hicks contraction in weeks, and hadn't had a real contraction ever. I was tired. Tired of being pregnant. Tired of everyone asking "are you ever going to have that baby?". I was tired of the skiddadled people freaking out when I said I was past due. I was ready to have this baby. I had I knew at that point that Layla's godmother, Jen, and Chris would be there for Layla's birth. I hoped that my mother in law would be there as well, but she said she was planning to come at the end of October. October 13th, My amazing mother in law showed up and was ready to be there for her grand daughters birth! I was so happy! It made me feel good, because my mom will probably never see Layla. We had dinner that evening and I prepared myself for "tomorrow is the day" all evening long. The doctors office called and said I was scheduled for a 4am call slot, which meant, starting at 4am, they could call whenever and tell me when to come in for my induction. Chris knowing that the next six weeks I wouldn't be able to have any sex, caved on his "no more sex til the baby comes" stance at about 10pm, and well...we did the deed. He immediately fell asleep after making sure I was ok at about 10:30. I tried to relax and go to sleep as well, but the fact that I had to pee every few minutes prevented me from being able to. I thought I was getting a UTI, and thought "ggggreeeeaaattt ...just what I need on delivery day!", but I noticed that the pee had an odd smell to it. I passed it off as maybe just being sex and all that joy of finishing up. (Sorry..TMI I know). Well, as Chris continued to saw down the redwood trees and logs with his snoring, I kept peeing. and peeing. and peeing. Finally about 12:50, I noticed that I had to pee AGAIN. I was tired of getting up, so I kinda did a kegel to see if I really had to pee, or if it was just an urge. A minute later, I felt a surge of wetness "down below". "Grrrrreeeaaatttt now I just peed on myself! LOVELY!" I ran to the bathroom to change underwear and shorts in aggrevation. As I reached the toilet and began to undress, a whole flood of fluid gushed out of me and all over the bathroom floor. It smelled weird, and I didn't know what just happened. "did I just pee on myself, for real?" I cleaned it up, peed, and went to grab my phone to call Jen to ask her if my water broke. No one told me what to expect when your water broke, so I was flying blind. It was like 12:53 am October 14th when I called her. She asked me what happened, and if it smelled. I told her yes, it smelled like medicinal and that it just gushed out as I was standing there. She said "YES! YOUR WATER BROKE!! " I was dumbfounded. "Do I need to wake up Chris, or do I have some time?" and shes like "oh no honey, you are in labor, go wake Chris up!! I'll be at the hospital as soon as I can and get a few hours rest." <br />
I hung up the phone and waddled back into my bedroom to wake my sleeping snoring husband. Funny.. just 9 months ago, I was waking him up to tell him I was pregnant. "Babe, hey..I think my water just broke." "WHAT? Are you sure?!" "uh, no..but its either that or I really can't control my bladder anymore. Anythings possible at this point." "Do you want to go to the hospital?" "I think that's the best option..." "I think you just peed on yourself and they are going to send us home and they will make us come back a few hours later for the induction. This sucks. What's that smell?!" "whatever just came out of me" "Ok, well lets get showers and grab our stuff and go" Turk and Kasey were both sleeping, but Kasey flinched and groaned as the lights turned on. Turk, who had been "guardian" of me, followed my every move with anxious shaking. I headed to the bathroom to take a shower when another flood of fluid gushed onto the floor, and again as I got into the shower. GEEZ. How much fluid is in me?! I finished my shower, and threw on PJs and wrapped my hair into a bun and saw Chris had finished his shower and was packing. I sat down to wait as he mumbled about "picking a great time" and "im sure you just peed on yourself". I told him I had three more gushes of fluid come out as I was in the shower. That's when my first contraction hit. The painful, crampy, tightening deep within my stomach. "Ouuuuuuuucccccchhhhhhhh.. HURRY UP!". Chris went to do his hair, floss, brush his teeth, shave, and put shoes on.. by this time, I felt another "urge to go" and headed to our spare bathroom, when I had a huge bowel movement (tmi..again sorry..but this IS a labor story!) and noticed I lost what appeared to be a huge glob of something. I freaked out momentairliy until I realized it was my mucous plug. I was in labor. Another few contractions later, Chris was finally ready. I kissed Kasey goodbye. She didn't even move. Of course, she didn't move much now a days anyway.I told her I loved her and that someone would be by in the morning to feed her. I was going to miss her. Turk had been beside me every step I took, and was ready to follow us outside. We kissed him goodbye. Our living room reeked of amniotic fluid. My contractions were 3 minutes apart as we headed to the hospital at 2am, I thought I was going to die on the half hour ride on the way to the hospital. I worried about Chris, but he seemed to be awake enough, but he had only had about 3 hours of sleep. We got to the hospital at about 2:20, and as I checked in I said "I was scheduled for induction today, but I am pretty sure my water just broke", and I finally got into a room about 20-30 minutes later. By the time I was seen, my contractions were going off the chart, and I was having contractions ever 2 and a half minutes apart.<br />
By 5:30, I was ready for the epidural when they offered it to me. I kept saying "fuuuuuuuccccckkkkk" everytime I got a contraction and everytime I said that, Chris lectured me on how that wasn't very lady like of me to be saying while I was in labor. I resisted the urge to take the computer monitor that was monitoring my contractions and throw it at his head. Then he kept telling me to "breathe". I had to remind him and the nurse that if I wasn't breathing, I wouldn't be alive, so SHUT UP! Lol Both of them.. if looks could kill, they would have dropped dead a thousand times over. The nurse left to check and see if a labor and delivery room was ready yet (as I had been waiting for 2 hours in a triage room ) and then came back to report that if I "wanted the epidural, theres a half hour wait". She offered to give me an IV with narcotics, which would take 20 minutes to kick in. I did the math contractions every 2 minutes now ..half hour wait...15 more contractions? I could wait. The dialation checks were GOSH AWFUL.. they hurt worse than any contraction I experienced!! She said I was 5cm <br />
At 6am, I was moved to a labor and delivery room, I was 6cm dialated at this point, and contractions were 1 min 45 seconds apart to 2 minutes apart. I think if I could have married my anistesiologist at the moment he gave me my epidural, I probably would have. He said as soon as they turned it on it would take 20 minutes to kick in..however, I felt nothing else.<br />
As he finished at about 6:30am, Jen walks into the room to give chris a break and let him go find something to eat, as he was getting low blood sugar shakes. Never have I been so happy to see a friend!! I felt so good from the epidural and lack of sleep, I was giddy. Chris swore I was high. She had me get ready to rest, and then made sure everything was quiet for awhile so I could rest. Apparently, I did fall asleep for awhile, because I woke up to a nurse coming in to tell me her name and that she would be taking care of me. It was only 8am. Doctor Mckinnie was now on call, but in an emergency C-section. They checked my dilation. Progress had slowed and I wasn't having many contractions since the epidural was started, so she said they may have to start Pitocin and left, and we didn't see her for a few hours. They came in to rotate me around 10ish, and the nurse returned and said I was between a 8cm-and 9cm.. and it shouldn't be much longer. She said to call them if I feel any pressure in my bottom, like I have to poop. I couldn't feel anything. My damn legs and asscheeks felt like a rubberized frog. My Mom in law arrived around about this time, and my grandfather said my grandma should be coming soon At about 11:15, Jen was asking how I felt besides having dragon breath and hungry as hell. She asked me if I felt anything. I said no, I just felt pressure on my leg/thigh/pelvic bone. It kinda hurt, but it felt like something was pushing and stretching on it. Jen, thank goodness, decided to go and have the nurse come check me anyway. Just in case. The nurse came in and wasn't even able to check me, Layla's head was right there!!! While another nurse held my legs and mom and Jen held the other ones, the main nurse got layla into position. However, I almost gave birth right then in there because Mom noticed that my foot happened to be on one of the nurses boobs! We all started cracking up laughing, and everytime I laughed, Layla's head emerged some, then retreated. The nurse then ordered me not to laugh and raced to go find doctor Mckinnie ASAP and she said whatever I did, DO NOT PUSH until they got back. At 11:35, Doctor Mckinnie entered with the nurse and did a quick check of things, before telling me it was time to push. At 11:53am, Layla Rose Hargrave was officially introduced into the big wide world at 7lbs 14oz, and 19inches long. <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaseysluckymom2006/8098411131/" title="Layla Rose! by kaseys_lucky_mom2006, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8469/8098411131_339af86b7a.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Layla Rose!"></a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaseysluckymom2006/8127874760/" title="Mommy and Me! by kaseys_lucky_mom2006, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8474/8127874760_82d77e0d48.jpg" width="500" height="333" alt="Mommy and Me!"></a> And so my journey into motherhood began. Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-50833052477224403352013-07-22T12:23:00.001-04:002013-07-22T12:23:33.585-04:00Pregnancy So my last post was way over a year ago.. like a year and a half ago, but I want to change that!
I did find out I was pregnant on Feb. 2, 2012, at like 5am, after trying to hold my pee in all flipping night (which is soooo hard to accomplish when you ARE pregnant..early stages, and late stages!). I was about 5 days late and a period short of a period that I have never missed before since I was 11, so I peed on a stick, and barely had time to cap the thing and put it on the counter for the "3 minute wait" before the two lines showed up. I almost fell off the toilet, stared at the dang thing, cried, said "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" for probably 5 minutes, before shaking all over, crying, and staring at the counter where the two blue lines lay, staring at me. My whole life was about to change, in 9 months, I would be a mom. I didn't really know what else to do, so I wrapped the test, threw it away, and returned to bed, shaking and crying. I noticed that my fiance' was still sleeping and had his back to me, so I decided to snuggle up next to him and wrap my arms around him. He stirred in his sleep as I whispered "I love you"..not thinking he would hear me. He mumbled what I think was "I love you too". I then kissed his neck and said "you're going to be a dad again". He then says "NO I'M NOT!" and snorts and goes back to sleep. Or tried to. lol. "According to the test I just took, it says you are!" He was asleep.
He knew I was late. He was hoping, excitedly that I was pregnant. This was a battle we had had a few times over the 3.5 years we had been together. He wanted a baby, I wanted my wedding ring first. He wanted a baby first. I refused to budge. We finally reached a compromise in December. He had to choose my wedding ring and set a date, and I would set up an appointment for family planning with Dr. Mckinnie. However, it would be an appointment to find out what she thought (ie. were we healthy, what would I need to do to plan for getting pregnant after our wedding, what did I need to do in the mean time, and etc., these were important questions because I had endometriosis and had been on birth control for about 5 years to control it). We set a wedding date for October 11, 2012. He picked out a ring (which we ended up with a completely different set after we picked out that one! lol). I made an appointment with both my primary care doctor, and my gynecologist. I had a successful meeting with my primary doctor, who said I was completely healthy and told me that when I stopped birth control, It would be crazy cycles for the first few months, and then I should monitor myself for a few months so I could track fertile periods, ovulation, and etc, so then Chris and I could begin to plan and chart things out. This was ok. I met with Dr. McKinnie the following month after that for my annual visit. She said all was good, that I probably wouldn't have a period for about 3 months after stopping the pills, and then it would probably be a year before we conceived..which I thought was GREAT! Perfect planning, I'd only have like 1 semester left of school by the time the baby arrived at that point, and surely I could manage that.
I was pregnant 3 days later. A positive test when I missed my period (negative when I was 2 days late, positive 5 days late and when my cycle would have ended).
I continued to work and go to school throughout my pregnancy. I had horrible morning sickness and often had to run to the bathroom to get sick, but then went right back to work/class. I was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. My boobs were sore, and went from A cup nothings, to D cup va va vrooms! I still managed to qualify for honors and deans list.. how? I'll never know! We also moved up our wedding date from October 11 (which was 5 days passed my due date) to June 2, 2012.
I was forced into taking a medical leave at work for refusing to push 80lbs of ice and water across a parking lot, even though this task was "assigned" to me three weeks AFTER I informed my boss of my pregnancy (to which she didn't say congrats, but instead informed me that I was not doing the "right" thing, and my coworker (who was due six weeks after me, but was married) and her granddaughter who were married were doing the right thing.). I also informed her during the second trimester, which I was in, that I could not push, lift, or carry more than 20lbs, as per doctor recommendations. She then told me that if I refused to push 80lbs of ice and water (which the first day she assigned it to me, I was so pissed, I did it but then had to call my OB because I had really bad cramps afterwords) OR MAKE 5 YEAR OLD KIDS PUSH IT, then I "couldn't perform my job duties" and needed to "take a leave of absence or resign". Mind you I watched kids for a living, she had assigned this task to me, AFTER I informed her I couldn't..and there were 2 other capable employees who could push it. However, she said it was "punishment for being on my phone". It wasn't even me on my phone, other than a doctor callback, and about a month prior, my husband had passed out on the side of the road and he had to be sent to the doctor and SHE KNEW about it, she even called me to check on him as well..Both times, she was aware of the fact that my phone was needed and was ok with it. My coworker was on a personal call to her aunt,to complain about her husband, gush over her kids, and her hair, and how her husband needs this and that. I didn't want to rat her out though (and since my boss doesn't supervise us, she wouldn't know anyway).So, luckily, I had enough common sense to go and ask for a copy of my employee file, and saw I had over 200+ hours of sick time and 70+ hours of annual time. I told her I will take the leave of absence, but I would only use my sick pay of 207 hours, and NOT to use my annual time and that I would be off for seven weeks, paid, and would be back on xx date. She was flabbergasted. She called me that afternoon and requested me to write a letter stating I would like to take a medical leave and bring it in. Not being a dummy, I wrote a letter that started out with "After being given the decision to take a leave of absence or resign.." and made sure to include "I wish to only use my 207 hours of sick time I have accumulated for this leave" and that "this leave is NOT medically necessary" to make sure that I covered my rear end. I also had the letter notarized and made copies. I brought this to her the next morning and I swear she about fell on the floor! She got mad, then said "how are you planning to work 7 weeks from now if you will be more pregnant then, than you are now? I don't see how", and took it to our head boss, Mr. C. About 2 hours later, she called me on the phone and said she was willing to work with me and make sure that I was ok for work saying she would work with me if I wanted to return to work that afternoon, especially when I reminded her she was the one who said I couldn't..she decided to proceed to tell me "well, you are like a single parent and everything and you need to work"... EXCUSE ME.. WHAT.THE.FUCK?! I wanted to come through the phone and smash her glasses right into her face. I WAS NOT SINGLE. CHRIS IS NOT GONE. I then informed her I was getting married in 2 weeks, and that does not make me a SINGLE PARENT. Oh, I was mad. Really mad. However, my "really mad" was NOTHING compared to Chris' anger when I told him.
I did return to work without incident seven weeks later. And worked up til a week before I was due, Im glad I resigned then because my feet were so swollen by that time, I couldn't feel my toes.
June 2nd, 2012 is probably one of the proudest days of my life. I became Mrs. Chris Hargrave.. Ok ok. I became Mrs. Brianne Hargrave. Never have I been so proud to call myself that.
July came and we decided on the name Layla Rose. Chris had come home singing "Layla" one evening, and said "that's what we are going to name our baby!" Over my dead body.. He then tried to also pick out her middle name! I was the one waddling, uncomfortable, gassy, heartburny, and constantly hot, hungry, and tired as I made and grew this baby and he wanted to pick out her whole name? OH HELL NO. He did pick out JD's full name, and so I figured I deserved to pick out my daughters name (as our agreement went boy-his choice, girl=my choice). So we bought a baby name book and poured over names. Nothing struck Chris more than Layla. I hated it. It reminded me of pig nosed kids and a stripper. I told him so. Finally I told him that fine, he could name her Layla, but only if her middle name was Rose. If he couldn't agree to that, then he better choose another name. He said "Oh no" to the middle name of Rose, but when given that ultimatum, he agreed. I was ridiculously proud of myself for that one. See, my love affair with the name "Rose" began when I was a young girl. I wanted the middle name of Rose..because I didn't have a middle name. When I talked to my mom in September to tell her about her impending "grandma"hood she laughed and said "how did I know the middle name would be Rose? You always loved that name!" lol.
In September, Layla gave us a royal scare. As Dr. Mckinnie was doing a routine heartbeat check, she heard layla's heart skipping beats, and sent me for an emergency ultrasound, and back up to see the Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor, Doctor Hume the following day. Dr. Hume was anxious to tease me about "Mildred" , which is what he called Layla because Chris and I were deadlocked in a name debate at our earlier appointments. I told him we had finally settled on Layla Rose, and he was still intent on calling her "mildred" =)) ewwh. Either way, he found nothing to be wrong with her heart and said the arrithmyia was apart of Layla getting ready for her birth, trying to match her own heartbeats to my body's heartbeat. Odd..but we were relieved she was ok. Dr. Mckinnie swore she would be here before my due date, as I was already 50%effaced at 34 weeks.
October 7th came and went, and no baby, no contractions, no Braxton hicks, NOTHING. I was sitting at 1cm dialated and 70% effaced at my October 4th appointment and had been that way for 2 weeks now. At my October 10th appointment, they did a fluid check ultrasound, and I was 2cm dialated and 80% effaced. We scheduled induction for Sunday October 14th, since Dr. Mckinnie was on call that day.
Little did I know, I wouldn't need induced.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaseysluckymom2006/8078206902/" title="WEEK 40/40...taken on 10/7 by kaseys_lucky_mom2006, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8327/8078206902_b775e1b309.jpg" width="299" height="500" alt="WEEK 40/40...taken on 10/7"></a>Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-25749332369105083762012-02-03T14:06:00.001-05:002012-02-03T14:25:33.978-05:00The change is here!!February 2nd, 2012,<br />I was 5 days late and a period short. I decided to test.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaseysluckymom2006/6809460795/" title="So guess what I found out this morning?! by kaseys_lucky_mom2006, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7166/6809460795_281ddca406_s.jpg" width="75" height="75" alt="So guess what I found out this morning?!"></a><br /><br />Yep a baby! :)Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-70942199829222883002012-02-01T12:22:00.002-05:002012-02-01T12:32:40.851-05:00JFKFor Arguement and Persuasion class on tuesday, we had to read president Kennedy's inaugral address. The rhetorical devices in the speech made it an amazing piece to read. The part that struck me the most was in the first paragraph<br /><em></em><br />"We..celebrate freedom, symbolizing an end, as well as a beginning-signifying renewal as well as change" -J.F. Kennedy<em></em><br /><br />In a time of my life where it is looking like things will be changing pretty quickly..(and yes, Chris and I are fine! These are good changes! )I found it to be a pretty amazing quote.<br />We started this year by me finally getting the new, better camera I've been dreaming about for forever it feels like! the Canon Rebel T3.<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaseysluckymom2006/6797272547/" title="My new baby! by kaseys_lucky_mom2006, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7141/6797272547_00450581ba.jpg" width="336" height="500" alt="My new baby!"></a><br />I am completely and utterly lost trying to figure it out (not to mention school and work drama havent afforded me time either)<br />I just recieved my 50mm/1.8 f lens today and shot some pictures with that..pretty exciting..until i realized just how badly Kasey needs groomed. LOL!<br />Either way, I am in love with this camera. It is amazing.<br />I also have a pro flickr account now, so hopefully I can improve and post better pictures.<br /><br />Tomorrow is make it or break it day! :) hopefully I will have something to post then, since i totally forgot to upload the new pics of Turk and Kasey =))Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-4253220926990740892011-11-28T13:55:00.003-05:002011-11-28T14:19:59.262-05:00Life is an ever changing road full of choicesAs my first semester of college comes to a close next week, I finally have a few minutes to myself to actually sit and reflect what this semester has done for me.<br /><br />We finally have our own place.. its so nice. Its been quite the adjustment moving out on my own..or in with Chris. It's also been strange to only have 2 dogs. I can not even begin to tell you how nice it is to be able to take them out together..without worrying about the other 7 fighting or a fight breaking out when we return. I miss the other dogs..but I dont at the same time. It's also nice to wait for chris to get home everyday. and wake up together..and go to work at the same times.Its a great thing though, and probably the best decision we've made yet.<br /><br />I totally killed my math class! I was enrolled in a dual math class, which meant earning two math credits in one semester. Math has always been my nemisis and I kinda worried about that one when i enrolled, but at the same time I was utterly determined to do my best and walk out of there with an A. I did just that. and 6 weeks early too. My math professor was great, also great at making fun of me for being a nerd..but heck..who cares? I got an A..for both credit.<br /><br />English was much the same.. and my english professor professed..proudly..his love for Lady Gaga. I was totally going to write a poem like "Roses are red, violets are blue, lady gaga is awesome, and so are you!"..to tickle his poetry fancy..but, it turns out a littl imagination and creativity and hard work go a long way with this guy..which is fine by me. I got lots of all three. and I learned alot more.<br /><br />I also chopped 7 inches of hair and put in highlights..all of which need redone and im thinking of chopping more off..its growing so quick. who knows?<br /><br />Life is always changing here. But as Chris has shown me, some changes are good.<br />Others are great<br />and some,<br />are even better.<br /><br />I am really excited for the rest of my academic career..even if i am tired and undecided on my major. <br />I am also excited for the other changes that time will bring.<br /><br />Life's a ever changing road full of choices.. but so amazingly wonderful at the same time! It never fails to amaze me on how wonderful God really is for giving me what I have in my life. Family, Friends, and Love,..and so much more. I am truly blessed ..even with all of my past mistake...i mean learning experiences.<br /><br />I wish I could go on but work and a paper are calling my name.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-17415437602549140242011-06-28T21:36:00.002-04:002011-06-28T21:56:31.737-04:00"She's a Strong One!"I had new student orientation a couple of weeks ago, and while doing so, we were all asked to answer a simple question, "What is our reason for coming to school?". Most people didnt answer, others said money or to further their education. I didnt hesitate the moment he pointed at my raised hand, "To be independent, so I wont have to depend on someone else to take care of me, the way my Mother does." The man with the microphone stopped, stunned for a moment, before saying "WOW! Now thats the best reason right there! To be independent and not have to depend on someone else! Thats a girl that doesnt need a man right there!" I laughed then said "No! Hes the one pushing me to go!" :)<br /><br /><br />Makes me realize how damn lucky I am! To have a man who pushes me to be an independent person, just like I have wanted and that he believes I can do..and wants me to be able to take care of myself if anything happens to him ( GOD FORBID, but life is unpredictable). <br />I love you baby! <br /> I may be strong, because ive had to be, but it helps to have someone strong standing beside me also.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-66288627005318960582011-05-08T13:01:00.001-04:002011-05-08T13:04:33.671-04:00Mothers Day!Ordinarily, Mothers day for me gives me a reason to scorn the person who gave birth to me, after all, she gave me up, excommunicated, and disowned me, but 6 years after the fact, I can take the time and realize that my mom probably made a very smart and unselfish decision. She always said it was the hardest thing she had ever done, and i had always questioned this because if it was so hard to do what she did, then why do it? If you regret it so much, why keep up with no communication? Was I really that horrible of a kid that you couldnt keep in contact with me? Mothers day for me for the past 5 years has meant remembering someone who I look alike, remembering she gave me up. Whats so great about that?<br /><br />But, as i sit thinking about it now, my Mom by giving me up, gave me the most precious gift of all. A chance for a normal life, one where i can follow my dreams, a life where i can experience all the things i had missed out on for 9 years. By sending me away, I was able to attend my own highschool graduation, I was able to have friends, find a job, and fall in love, experience heartache all over again, own a few dogs, and fall in love again. These things are things she knew i would never be able to have if I had been still there with her. Granted, i lost my mom and dad, but I gained back a family, a wonderful man that I am proud to say is mine, a man who pushes me to be independent and to better myself. I gained friends, along with experience with kids. I gained my grandmother, who thank God, is paitent, understanding, and who for 6 years now, has done MORE than her share of grandparenting duties, she took the place of my mom. How often do you get blessed with such a blessing as that? Not very often. THANK YOU GRANDMA, I LOVE YOU!<br /><br />This year, instead of being angry at my mom, Im thankful. Thankful for her choices, because even if she cant have a normal life, She gave me the chance to experience it still, and while it has been a long crazy and wild ride, I have enjoyed every minute of being able to make my own choices and experience life the way everyone else does. So mom, thank you..and even though it hurts sometimes because we cant talk, do know that I love you and miss you always. I wish you could meet the boys and Im sorry you wont be around to enjoy your grandchildren when I have babies. Grandma will..lol. But still, as a child, I sometimes am still ashamed to say I need or want my mom around...but when the day comes when i do get married, or have your first grandchild, it really sucks to know YOU, my mother, wont be around, and that you made that choice. But again, Im thankful for the choice you made, because without it..I wouldnt have had all the experiences Ive had for the last 6 years..even some you tried to protect me from. But it was fun to learn from. I love you and miss you always...Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-11601660597788477642010-04-11T20:46:00.005-04:002010-04-14T20:25:14.849-04:00The Words "I Love You"...The words "I Love You" you hear them so often spoken. Perhaps you say I love you to your dogs, your cats, your horses? Perhaps you say them to close friends or family members?<br />Why is it those words, when spoken by the right person, can cause you to feel euphoric? You feel like floating away on a cloud. They give you fufillment. They give you a sense of security. They fill a void in your heart and your life.<br />Love is one of the most basic instincts of the human nature. So why is it, that sometimes we are afraid to show love to the ones we love the most? Why is it we are selfish in that way? Its something I dont understand, but yet I myself am guilty of doing it.<br />I never thought the words "I love you" could impact me in such ways ever again. I mean after all, I had closed off my heart to experiencing that dreaded emotion and had been quite successful at it for 2 years.<br />However, that afternoon in August, as I leaned up to attack his neck with a kiss as i moved to his ear, I felt him lean close into my body, and place his mouth next to my ear. Fully expecting to hear him say something totally stupid to ruin the moment, or have him lick my ear, i braced myself. He moves even closer and I hear a whisper "I love you". For a moment, i stopped breathing, my eyes had teared up, and I couldnt get words out. I leaned in close to him, kissed his neck and made sure i got close to his ear too. I managed to chokingly whisper "I love you too Chris." and suddenly lost all urge to kiss him and just laid my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Something I had done ever since we met. He wouldnt let go of me this time when his arms wrapped instinctively around me. Instead, he pulled me as close to him as i could possibly get without becoming apart of him.<br />Those words have rebuilt me.<br />But why is it I am still so scared of them? So scared, I know I dont say "I love you" as often as I should or as often as I'd like to (thankfully he knows I love him, by everything i do) and he is the same way, although I often question whether or not he loves me. LOL.<br />Those words fufilled me, they gave me security..they give that to me even now, even with our future in limbo.<br />I just wish they came out easier..Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-42596823617254862002010-03-30T12:11:00.003-04:002010-03-30T12:23:24.660-04:00Im full of ramblings.I cant ever forget the way you first looked at me. It took my breath away.<br />Now, I cant remember what looking into your eyes feels like. I havent seen them in so long.<br />I miss feeling like Im wanted.<br />Like I mean something.<br />Like Im actually important.<br /><br />I know you're hurting. I know you're fustrated about not being able to take care of me, the way you believe I deserve to be taken care of..but love..I never asked you to take care of me. That can come later.<br />I know the hurt you feel, but I cant help you when you push me away. I know thats how you deal with things. I know you dont think I should put up with it. But, I told you I'd stand beside you, no matter what.<br />You warned me it was going to be hard for awhile. You warned me you were worse now than you've ever been.<br />I stayed. We've been in worse places. I've been in worse state of minds, and yet why is this harder than any of those times?<br />Why? Why does this seem so much harder?<br />is it because I love you more now than I did before? Because I actually care?<br />I dont know.<br /><br />My emotions are frayed. Im beyond being disappointed and pissed at you when you say something and then dont do it.<br />It just hurts now.<br />It hurts more than i can describe.<br />I feel silly for saying that my feelings are hurt. It seems elementary. But its the truth.<br />You feel bad for what you do.. yet you do it again, and again.<br />Im sick of it. It will change.<br />Even Gary has told me what you're doing is wrong.<br />The way you're handling all of this is wrong.<br />I have some semi important news to tell you, and I dont feel like you care..so i havent told you.<br />But I need to.<br />I cant do this much longer. I cant keep guessing whats on your mind. I cant keep not knowing things. I cant not see you. I cant not talk to you. I cant not love you with all that i can love with..<br /><br />Maybe its true, i cant live without you, and maybe two is better than one..<br />remember that.<br />You know I love you.<br />You say you Love me. How can you knowingly do this to someone you love?<br />You know if i was going to walk away...You wouldnt want me to go.<br />You also know I wont at the same time.<br /><br />Im giving you time to yourself for the next few days. I love you, but i cant keep getting hurt or disappointed in you anymore, and keep a smiling face about it. I just cant.<br />its killing me not to get texts..but if you cared you would have text by now.<br />idk.<br />i pretty much just wrote this to ramble to myself..Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318126438667332048.post-66483389283827955122010-03-22T17:01:00.000-04:002010-03-22T17:39:02.882-04:0009.26.2008 - 03.26.2010One year and 6 months.<br />A year and a half.<br />Is it really possible that a year and a half ago, I was seriously struggling with my emotions.. trying to fight even the remote thought of liking you?<br />its hard to remember what life was even like before you.<br />Is it really possible that a year and a half ago, <em>I didnt even want to spend a minute of my time with you?</em><br /><strong>Its</strong> <strong>hard to remember what that even feels like.</strong><br />I remember the first time you approached me, I remember smiling to myself at your stupid pick up lines, thinking what a retard you were.<br />I then remember the breath being taken from me when I looked into your eyes.<br />How blue they are.. how gorgeous they are. How full of life they looked.<br />Then theres that issue of your smile. Just seeing you smile made me smile..which seeing us both smile made Justin smile.<br />I remember the first time you asked me for a hug, it was like a teenage boy trying to make a first move, without seeming obvious. Only you were completely obvious, and it was totally adorable.<br />Its hard to remember why I didnt want to be with you as soon as you held me that first night.<br />I know why, but that means nothing. If I had known that night, what I had found out 3 days after then.. our night would have been completely different.<br />I remember how you held me as i fell asleep that night, and how you laughed at me when I woke up.<br />I remember you taking pictures.<br />I remember making a fool out of myself, courtesy of too much captain morgan.<br />I remember you taking me home, then asking me to look at you. I refused. Stating that you were going to try to kiss me like they do in the movies.<br />I step out of the truck. You ask once more..saying you just want to look at me in case i decided to never speak to you again.<br />I look up, the way the light reflected off your eyes, you had to be the most handsomest guy I've ever seen.<br />I remember seeing you with Turk before we adopted him, it was that moment that changed the way i felt about you..thats why i tell you he is your saving grace!!<br />I remember watching you with him and your son over the next few weeks and months, and i couldnt help but feel myself melt.<br />Its hard to believe that all happend a year and a half ago.<br />Its hard to believe our baby has been apart of our lives that long.<br />Its hard to believe that You, JD, and I all having something missing in our lives, to having each other to depend on.<br />Its hard to believe how much I came to care about you, even after the rocky start.<br />Its hard to believe how much I've come to love you. Really and truly Love you. Theres nothing in this world i wouldnt do for you or JD or Turk.<br />Its hard to believe you care sometimes..but i know you do.<br />Its hard to believe you love me. But I know you do.<br /><br />Whats even harder to believe is the many changes our relationship has gone through.<br />Its never been normal. It never will be..but its perfect in its own way.<br />I'll admit our relationship has been better, but you warned me before you ever came home, its going to be rough for awhile.. and I told you i didnt care, I wasnt going anywhere.<br />You make me happy.<br />You make me smile.<br />With you, every second feels like Christmas, even if its the middle of July. Even if you're being grouchy :)<br />You are a amazing man, despite what you think. You are so confident and sure of yourself. It inspires me to be stronger than i am sometimes.<br />You are a pillar of strength for me, without even knowing it.<br />I love you..so very much.<br /><br />Its hard to believe this whole thing started a year and a half ago..<br />but thank you so much for not giving up, even when i tried to turn you down! :)<br />I dont regret for a second taking the time to give you a second chance<br />I dont regret getting to know you<br />I dont regret learning to fall in love all over again.<br />I dont regret making you fall either :)<br />I dont regret loving you. or our family.<br />and if given the chance, to go back to a year and a half ago, and start those few weeks before our first "date" all over again,<br />I would do it.<br />and relive it all over again.<br />I dont regret any of those moments from that night..or those weeks<br />because it all lead up to the moment, 11 months later, when you leaned into my ear, and whispered "I love you", taking me completely by surprise, and completely taking my breath away.<br /><br />I love you.<br />Thank you for a very interesting, amazing, year and a half.Briehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12901285322418936209noreply@blogger.com2